Ep. 2 My A$$hole is not inclusive: Why Trying to Please Everyone Is Wasting Your Energy

Here’s the thing: I’ve been sitting on this episode for weeks. Every time I tried to record, I hit a wall of panic, freezing up like a deer in the headlights. It’s weird because that’s not who I am. In 11th grade, I gave a speech on the legalization of prostitution that was so fire my teacher wanted me to take it to the Provincial Championships. I declined, thinking it might mess up my college chances, but the point is, talking has always been my thing. So why the sudden freeze?

Turns out, it’s that old, indoctrinated belief that’s been ingrained in me since primary school. I grew up in a tiny, rural town where inclusivity was drilled into us. My elementary school had 19 kids, and we were taught to be great leaders, which somehow translated into "you can't choose your friends." There weren’t enough kids to be picky anyway, so I learned to be friendly with everyone—even if I didn’t like them. By the time I got to high school, this belief had evolved into a complex, energy-draining performance. Better to be somewhat liked by everybody than risk having nobody, right?

Wrong.

This mindset takes a hell of a lot of energy to maintain. You end up putting on different versions of yourself depending on who you’re with, amplifying one aspect of your personality while repressing others to fit in. It’s a survival mechanism, and let’s be honest, it’s exhausting. Whether I was hanging out with metalheads or jocks, I was constantly shifting, adapting, and hiding parts of myself to stay connected.

But here’s the kicker: when you do this, you’re manipulating your audience. You’re presenting a version of yourself that’s only partially true, all in the name of inclusivity. But eventually, the truth leaks out. And when it does, only a handful of people—those who genuinely love who you are—will stick around. The rest? They’ll drift away. So why not skip the bullshit and be your full, dynamic, ever-evolving self from the start?

That’s what "Eating Cake" is all about—being radically exclusive and embracing it. I’m here to be fully myself, flaws and all, and I want to encourage you to do the same. The truth is, not everyone is going to be on board with who you are, and that’s okay. In fact, it’s better than okay—it’s liberating.

So, let’s stop wasting our scarce energy on upholding these performative charades. Let’s be weird, wild, boring, and everything in between. Let’s trust that our radiance will naturally attract the right people and repulse those who aren’t meant to be part of our journey. And if you’re one of the people who find themselves included in my exclusivity, then welcome. This ride is for you.

Thanks for tuning in to "Eating Cake." Because if you’ve got cake, we’ll eat it—no holds barred.

JOURNAL PROMPTS

1. Radical Authenticity: Where am I still trying to fit in or maintain a certain image, and how does that impact my energy and authenticity?

2. Past Attempts: Think about a time when you tried to be liked by everyone. How did that experience affect your sense of self and well-being?

3. Hidden Aspects: What aspects of myself am I holding back to avoid exclusion, and how does this affect my relationships and self-perception?

4. Embracing All Facets: Imagine fully embracing all facets of yourself without worrying about exclusion. What shifts might occur in your life or relationships if you did this?