Ep. 01 Eat the Whole Cake: WTF is This All About?
Alright, cake eaters, we're diving headfirst into this, unscripted and uncoordinated—because that’s what real cake-eating is all about. It’s about getting into the gritty bits of being unapologetically human, embracing it all, and having radical approval for every messy, multifaceted part of ourselves. No more performance, no more curation, no more control mechanisms that we’ve been conditioned to believe are the only ways to exist.
Today’s episode is your grounding stroke—think of it as your informed consent before you dive deeper into the wild ride this podcast is going to be. I want you to know exactly what you're signing up for, so you don’t find yourself ten episodes in, hearing us talk about cash and rim jobs, and wondering, “What the hell did I get myself into?”
This is the episode to tune into if you’re curious about me, about this podcast, and if you’re tired—like I am—of not allowing the full breadth of who you are to sit at the damn table of life. Because here’s the truth: no matter where you exist, whether you’ve been in corporate for years or you’re knee-deep in the personal development and spiritual growth worlds, there’s this unspoken energy that says you need to show up as a particular version of yourself, rather than as your whole, integrated self.
I’ve been there—living life as a curated, performative chameleon. For years, I’ve walked the line between polarizing communities, showing up in ways that made others comfortable, rather than honoring the entirety of who I am. But here’s the thing: the life we’re living isn’t who we are. It’s just the circumstances we’re playing a part in.
So, in this journey of eating cake, we’re asking ourselves: Who are we truly, if we decide there’s no part of us that’s shameful, embarrassing, humiliating, or dismissive? If we believe that every part of us is welcome, who do we become in the world? What kind of life experiences do we get to have if we’re fully integrated? And more importantly, what happens when we start locking away parts of ourselves, denying experiences, or dismissing truths we hold dear?
Eating cake is about exploring these gritty, gray, uncomfortable spaces. We’ll be talking about taboos like anal play, the moral gray areas of life, and the impact of secrets—not from a lens of advocacy, but from a deeper inquiry into whether it’s worth using our energy to hide aspects of ourselves. Is it really worth living inauthentically, or could life be a hell of a lot better if we just had self-approval?
Let’s be real: it’s easier said than done. As you begin to reveal the full, dynamic breadth of who you are, insecurities are going to pop up. That’s natural. Hell, that’s what made me record this episode 18,000 times. But I want you to give yourself the space to be imperfect, uncurated, and uncontrolled. Allow yourself to have the involuntary human experience. If I piss you off—great. If I make you laugh—amazing. If I make you cry—even better. If I leave you questioning all the decisions you’ve made in life—fuck yeah. Because the whole point of being human is to feel alive, and we’ve gotten so damn good at pretending we are, that we’ve forgotten how it actually feels.
I’m inviting you on a journey with me to reclaim the power of who we are, instead of locking any aspect of ourselves away. Because here’s what I’ve always known to be true: you can pretend to be someone else for years, but eventually, the truth leaks through. And when it does, it always comes carrying a match, ready to blow up all the untruths in your life. Whether that means blowing up a career you never wanted at 45, or ending a relationship you settled in, the truth will always come through.
So instead of waiting for the truth to cause chaos in our lives, what if we just allowed ourselves to exist, and let the natural chaos of human evolution take its course? Yeah, it’s a mindfuck. But that’s what we’re here to explore. This podcast is my personal project—a space for me to actively work through my shit, and show you how you can do it too, with approval.
Because here’s the thing: when we go through spiritual development or personal growth, we tend to punish ourselves in the process. We get mean with ourselves as we unravel identities and reintegrate who we are. But eating cake isn’t about that. It’s about reclaiming the parts of ourselves we’ve lost through compartmentalization and performance.
What would happen if we stopped hiding, stopped compartmentalizing, and brought all parts of ourselves to the table? Who would stick around, and who would leave? Who would feel more attracted, and who would get repulsed? What if all parts of us—gritty, choppy, soft, loving, tender—were allowed to exist simultaneously?
It’s a big ask, I know. But that’s the journey I’m on. What if we let all parts of us come to the table? What happens then? That’s what we’re going to explore in this podcast. You’re going to hear me stutter, you’re going to hear me be imperfect, and that’s just going to have to be okay with you. Because we’re in this together, and we’re going to see where this journey takes us.
So welcome to the mess, the chaos, and the realness. Let’s eat some cake, and see what happens when we reclaim the full breadth of who we are.
JOURNAL PROMPTS TO INTEGRATE THIS EPISODE:
Unscripted Living: What areas of your life feel overly scripted or controlled? How would your life change if you allowed more spontaneity and imperfection?
Radical Approval: What parts of yourself have you been hiding or suppressing due to fear of judgment? How can you start giving those parts radical approval and let them come to the surface?
Humanity and Performance: Where in your life do you feel you're performing or curating a version of yourself to fit in? What would it look like to drop the performance and be fully authentic, even if it feels messy or uncomfortable?
The Whole Self: Reflect on a situation where you felt you had to compartmentalize who you are. What would have happened if you had shown up as your full, integrated self? How might it have changed the outcome?
Reclaiming Power: What narratives or stories have you internalized that tell you parts of yourself are wrong or bad? How can you begin to reclaim your power by embracing those parts instead of repressing them?
Truth and Complexity: Think of a time when your true self leaked through, disrupting the persona you had been presenting. What did you learn from that experience about the importance of embracing your full complexity?
Integration vs. Disintegration: In what ways have you experienced disintegration in your life due to compartmentalizing different aspects of yourself? How can you start the process of reintegration?
Glamour and Insecurity: What identities or labels do you uphold to mask insecurities? How can you start peeling back those layers to reveal the truth of who you are beneath the performance?
Living with Self-Approval: What would change in your life if you fully approved of yourself, without needing external validation? How would your relationships, work, and personal growth be different?
Embracing the Messy Journey: As you embark on your own journey of self-discovery and integration, what fears or insecurities arise? How can you show yourself grace and compassion as you navigate this imperfect, messy process?